Moving on leads to happiness

I find that I am always asking myself the following questions:

 How do I know when I’m ready to move on?  Why can’t I just move on without constantly being reminded of what I’ve left behind? 

How do I know I am not ok doing what I am doing and need to try something new? 

When will be the right time for me? 

Why is my path so different from the rest? 

I think that the answers are simple, yet complicated.Simple because the answers were right in front of me. Complicated because I really had to have this journey of personal discovery to figure them out. I wasn’t going to hear it from someone else just telling me, although I thank everyone who tried.

I am ready to move on when I feel like it. When something (or someone) comes around and gets me feeling like “yeah, okay, this could be good.” If something feels right, roll with it- don’t try and fight it. If it doesn’t, then slam on the brakes and go in a different direction. 

Sometimes being reminded of your past is shitty (theres a reason it’s in the PAST). I look at the reminders of my past as a reminder of my journey. It is a reminder of my strength and my determination and my motivation. It reminds me of where I was and how I NEVER want to go back to that. I have become a better person because of my past. For those reminders, I am grateful.

At many points throughout life, we get complacent and feel like there’s a need for change. There’s no magic fairy godmother who comes around and sprinkles fairydust saying “get your shit together, you’ve been on this hamster wheel for 10 years now!” You just know that its time. You feel it in the gut. What makes the difference between happy people and unhappy people is that the happy people will do something about it! They will seek out whatever change they are looking for (therefore making them feel fulfilled and happy), meanwhile unhappy people will remain on this hamster wheel and go round and round until they either puke or break a leg and are forced to get off the ride (hence, unhappy). They do this because its EASY, its comfortable to just keep going and it feels safe.  Then, they too at some point will have a revelation that change is good, and necessary in order to go on with life. We are all guilty of staying stagnant at some point in our lives, and remembering those times can sometimes feel like a a sucker punch where you ask yourself, “what the hell was I thinking?”  and feel like time was wasted, but don’t dwell on that, trust me! It gets you nowhere except for down at the bottom of a deep dark rabit hole. 

As far as it being the right time to make that change, the truth is there is no RIGHT time, or good time. You are no more successful if you start on the first of a month which just so happens to fall on a Monday versus starting on the 16th of the month falling on a Wednesday. You just know when it’s right for you. If you waited for the storm to pass, you’d miss the opportunity to dance in the rain. So throw on your golashes and grab an umbrella and get out there! 

I really struggled after my divorce with timelines and meeting my own (and society’s) expectations-married by 26, kids by 28, master’s degree by 32 and on and on. I thought my life was over and I couldn’t possibly start over at 29.  Then, one day I realized I was given a blessing. I could do things on MY TIME. I came to realize how many people live life unhappy because they followed their assumed timelines and now wish they could go back and do things differently. I believe things happen for a reason, and I was given this situation so that I could live my life on my terms and realize that it’s not all about social status, or marital status, or if you have 1 kid or 12 by the time you’re 30. You cannot let other people or society dictate what is going to make you happy. What’s good for the gander is not always what’s good for the goose. Life is about figuring out what you want and going after it- THAT is where you will find your happiness. 

Author: NurseEmily

Career driven, single mother trying to sort out this wild ride called life. View all posts by NurseEmily